Communication with Parents – by Mandy aged 14

Oh my goodness, I wonder if anyone has the same problem as I do – ha ha of this I am sure.  My problem is communicating with my parents, I feel that they are just so old fashioned.  They really do not understand me.  I try to talk to them but we usually end up screaming at each other as I feel that they just do not get what I am trying to say.  I think that this has to do with being a teenager, at least that is what my parents say.  I have spoken to my friends and most of them have the same problem.  Our parents are too controlling and we seem to argue about everything, what we wear, what we like or dislike, rules, music etc.

Copy of parents

I remember as a small child, my mum and I seemed to get on really well, I think this was because I always did what she said and never disagreed with her.  Now it seems that we are forever fighting and all we do is disagree.  My mum says that I am rude and disrespectful.  I do not think that I am rude, I just think that I do not agree with everything she says and when I try to tell her I disagree she seems to think that I am being rude.  I feel there is a difference between being rude and having a different opinion to her.  I will give you an example of what I am trying to say.  Last Wednesday morning, I wanted to wear a yellow top that I like to go shopping for my mum.  She asked me to change it and said that I was not dressed appropriately to go the shops; it was more a top for the evening.  I felt offended as this was what my choice was.  I told her “mum this is what I want to wear and I am free to choose what I wear, I’m not a baby for you to dress anymore, why are you so controlling?”  This seemed to have made my mother angry as she suddenly became defensive and said in a raised voice “I am not controlling, I am just pointing out what is right and wrong, I am the one who should show you as I am your mother, if I do not tell you, who will? Your friends??? “ Urgghhhh!! As usual we had turned a simple outing to the shops into world war 2.  In frustration I just went to my room, slammed the door and did not come out for a few hours.  My mum also sulked till the evening.

Because of my communication problems with my mum, I have done some research on communication skills so that I try and improve my relationship with her.  I wish she would do the same actually!  I have attached what I found for you to have a look at too. (just in case you are in a similar situation to me.)