I can’t get you out of my mind

I can’t seem to get you out of my mind.

The way you walk, the way you talk, the way your eyes shine.

I can’t seem to understand the way you bend your head to listen to every word I say

And the way things between us are never dull or gray.

 

I can’t seem to get you out of my mind.

The way you listen, the way you react, the way your smile never dies.

I can’t seem to explain the fullness I feel.

Sometimes looking at you, it all seems so surreal.

 

I can’t seem to get you out of my mind.

The way my heart races when I see you, the way I don’t want to say goodbye.

I can’t seem to fathom why you talk to me as much as you do,

But I love it, and I can honestly say, I adore you too.

This poem was written by a teenage girl called Julia Aronov. It is about a boy who she saw at school every day for three years but never spoke to. One day, he sent her a message and from then on, they started a relationship that became very meaningful for her.

 

Love and Relationships

Romantic love is very different to the love we feel for our family and friends. Developing feelings and attraction for others is a normal part of growing up and this can be very exciting. When we feel attracted to someone it can cause us to feel nervous but excited when that person is around. We may start to feel close to that special person, sharing thoughts and feelings that we don’t share with anyone else.

Does my crush like me too?

Sometimes crushes feel so strong that it’s all you can think about. Flirting and giving you compliments can be a sign that someone likes you and might be interested in starting a relationship. Asking someone out can be a scary experience and can take a bit of courage.

Here are some tips that could help make things easier:

  1. Stay calm and think about what you’re going to say. Starting a conversation can be a bit tricky, asking people about themselves is a good way to get talking.
  2. Having some privacy to talk might make things a bit easier. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking face-to-face, calling, texting or messaging online might be easier for you.
  3. If you feel like things are going well, you could ask your crush to do something with you like going to the cinema or for an ice-cream. You can also suggest meeting with a group of friends instead of a one-to-one date right away.
  4. Most importantly, always remember that you are amazing, no matter what your crush might say!

Getting rejected

Sometimes, our crush might not like us back and this can be very disappointing. What’s important to remember is that rejection is a normal part of life and it happens to everyone at some point. Don’t give up! It may hurt for a while, but it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you or that you won’t find someone else. It just means that you just weren’t a good match for each other.

Breakups

Breaking up can be a very sad and painful experience. You may feel a number of things like anger, confusion, jealousy and low self-esteem. It can sometimes feel like nobody understands what you are going through and that you will never feel happy again. It may help to share your feelings with somebody you trust like a friend, a teacher or a counsellor. It is also ok to cry or to write your feelings in a journal! There is nothing wrong with being upset as it is very normal after a break-up. Keeping yourself busy, doing things you enjoy, hanging out with friends and giving yourself time to heal can help you move on from the relationship.

Sex

There is a lot to think about when it comes to sexual behaviour; figuring out what you are ready for, learning about protecting yourself from sexually transmitted diseases, and protecting yourself from unwanted pregnancy.

It is extremely important when it comes to having sex, or any other form of sexual contact, both people should have agreed to it. This is called mutual-consent and it means that both you and your partner have said ‘yes’. If one person does not feel ready, you must respect their decision. Pressuring someone or feeling pressured by another to have sex is very unfair as this is a big step in your lives and you have to be sure you are ready to take it.  If a person does not respect another person’s ‘no’, this could be a form of sexual abuse / rape.

If a person is considering sex, it is important to keep the sex ABC in mind:

A – Abstinence: the safest method of protecting yourself entirely from unplanned pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) is through avoiding having sex until you feel emotionally ready, have communicated this thoroughly with your partner and are ready to face any consequences that may arise.  

B – Be Faithful: if you choose to be sexually active, minimising the amount of partners which you have, minimises the risk for sexually transmitted infections.  Therefore, the more partners a person has, the more the individual is at risk of STIs.  

C – Contraceptives/Condoms: it is important that if you decide to be sexually active, make use of contraceptives such as condoms as these help reduce the risk for unplanned pregnancy and for STIs.  It is important to keep in mind that a person who uses a condom still risks pregnancy and some form of STIs; this is why it is important that a person seriously thinks about his/her responsibilities prior to being sexually active.

What are STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections?)

Sexually Transmitted Infections are spread through any form of sexual contact that involves body fluids or skin-to-skin contact of the genitals. Therefore, STIs can be spread through skin-to-skin contact of the genitals, oral sex, vaginal sex and/or anal sex.

STIs can be classified into 3 main categories: parastic STIs (eg. pubic lice), bacterial STIs (eg. chlamydia) and viral STIs (eg. genital warts/HPV).  There are some STIs that can be cured; parasitic STIs are usually cured through medicated shampoo or through antibiotics, depending on the type of STI.  Bacterial STIs are usually cured through antibiotics, therefore, these are not dangerous if you get treatment right away. Viral STIs however, do not have a cure; medication exists to help control the virus but does not remove it.

Although STIs are quite common, people may feel ashamed or embarrassed if they get one. Many a time, people do not even realise that they have an STI!  This is because some STIs show symptoms such as rashes, burning during urination, itchiness, changes in discharge, whereas others have no symptoms.  Although a person may have an STI which is symptom-free, the STI can still cause a lot of harm to themselves and this can still be passed onto other people through sexual contact.  Therefore, if you choose to be sexually active, it is very important to go for regular check-ups at the G.U. Clinic at Mater Dei (2nd Floor).  Although it may feel a bit embarrassing or a bit difficult, it is important to take care of your sexual health as there could be serious repercussions.

The GU clinic at Mater Dei offers testing for STDs confidentially to individuals of any age (a person below the age of 18 may attend the clinic without the presence of an adult) – https://health.gov.mt/en/MDH/Pages/MDH-Genitourinary-Clinic.aspx

Pregnancy

Birth control, also known as contraception, is designed to prevent pregnancy. There are a number of different types of birth control and it would be best for anyone who wants to start having sex to speak with a doctor or gynaecologist about the safest options for you. Also, although it may be difficult, opening up to an adult you trust might be a good way of learning more about what you can do to have safe sex.

 

No matter what you choose to do in your relationships with others, one thing you must always remember is to love and respect yourself, stay safe and enjoy this exciting new chapter in your life!

If you would like to speak with someone anonymously about love, relationships, and sex, feel free to contact us at any time through our chat, smart messaging app, or email. All of these services are available 24/7 and are accessible at the following link: https://kellimni.com/#contact-us