How often do you feel happy, sad, angry or scared? These are just some of the many emotions we experience. Emotions come to us in different doses. We may feel a light wave of joy when we see a person we love, or feel shaken by a rush of anger when someone stands in our way. Other times our emotions feel very heavy; a failure, a loss of someone special, a rejection, or a major disappointment are all quite likely to elicit emotions of sadness, loneliness, disappointment or frustration. Each of our experiences come with their own emotions attached to them.. We may choose to explore what the emotion is telling us about the experience or we may leave it unseen. Our choice will quite likely affect us later.
The Unseen Emotions
When we have an experience that is too painful we may choose to suppress this emotion by keeping ourselves busy, drinking too much, over-eating or under-eating, or by just pretending that nothing has happened. Sometimes our conscious mind represses this emotion out of awareness to protect us from hurting too much. This is what happened to Emma. When Emma was 5 years old her father abandoned her family. Emma remembers very little of what happened. She spent her childhood with her mother and brother. As a young woman she started to date a boy. She was very much in love and had big plans until he decided to leave the relationship. Emma was devastated. Emotions of fear, inadequacy and sadness from her childhood resurfaced and she had the difficult task of dealing not only with the loss of her relationship but also with the long lost relationship with her dad.
Emotions do not evaporate or disappear. We may squeeze them or hide them away from our consciousness but it takes a lot of energy to keep them buried. We may find ourselves with little energy left for other activities. This may affect our relationships as we may not be fully present with others around us. Repressed emotions can also cause fatigue, a sense of vulnerability and low self-confidence.
The Explored Emotions
Being curious about all emotions is the first step to a healthy emotional life. Yet in getting there we may find ourselves digging out painful memories. This is often an uncomfortable and difficult journey. The good news is that once we jump the first few hurdles it becomes easier for us to explore and understand what our emotions are trying to tell us.
A closer look at four common emotions can help us understand what lies beneath our feelings.
Sadness: In sadness we lose our ability to feel positive and excited about life. Sadness is usually a reaction to a loss. It is experienced as a need to withdraw and stop any action. You may feel heaviness on your chest, tension around your jaw and tears in our eyes. Sadness often indicates that we are not getting what we need. This may motivate us to reflect and redirect our actions to achieve more meaningful goals.
Fear: Fear usually signifies danger. It may be warning us of an imminent threat or a possible toxic experience. Our fear acts as a warning sign that allows us to be cautious and attentive. On the other hand too much fear may paralyse us into immobility while being fearless may push us into impulsive actions that we may regret later. By exploring this emotion we may find that at the core of our fear there is an invitation for meaningful change.
Anger: Anger is frequently frowned upon and its expression is discouraged however within psychology anger is seen as a protector. It is the watch guard inside us that warns us when our boundaries are being crossed. When someone feels persistently angry it becomes vital to get in touch with this emotion, understand what is triggering it then find creative ways how to diffuse it.
Confusion: Often we go through experiences that instil different emotions in us. Contrasting feelings of fear and anger; love and hate, strength and weakness often come to us at the same time leaving us with a big sense of confusion. This signifies that we need to stop, take a deep breath and feel our emotions. Understanding oneself brings greater clarity.
How can Kellimni.com help you?
At kellimni our team of trained operators will help you to explore your emotions. You are able to speak with empathic listeners who will stand with you in your time of sadness, fear, anger or confusion, and help you better understand your experience. You can do all this and remain anonymous, therefore all your thoughts and feelings will be shared in complete privacy. Many Kellimni users express relief and a sense of lightness after they talk to our operators. We support you to come for this Kellimni experience.
Who else can help you?
Many people choose to seek the help of a professional such as a psychotherapist, a psychologist, or a counsellor in order to unpack, understand, and learn to cope with the emotions which we may be feeling in a safe environment. Such services can be accessed through schools, privately, or even through the referral from a family doctor.
If you would like to speak with someone anonymously about your emotions feel free to contact us at any time through our chat, smart messaging app, or email. All of these services are available 24/7 and are accessible at the following link: https://kellimni.com/#contact-us