Myself

Nurturing My Self-Concept

Who am I? What am I here for? Society tells me how I am supposed to be. As a fifteen-year-old girl, society states that I am supposed to be interested in boys, fashion and the way I look. It’s not so cool to be interested in getting good marks or in what adults have to say. I’m supposed to look the same and be as similar to everyone my age, as is possible. I should be confident, funny, interesting and streetwise.

Yet, who am I really? Who am I to myself? I guess I am quiet – I like listening and learning. I am shy and fearful with people I don’t know, but funny and lively with my friends. I am very undesicive about what I want in the short-term, though I have a bucketful of dreams for my future. I am clumsy, curious, adventurous, quirky and persistent. I am not a quitter. I am open to new experiences and try my best at everything. I hate admitting I am not good at something. I hold onto things and have high hopes. I am sensitive and a little too caring – even about situations that are distant from me, and people I have never met personally. I am worrisome and slightly negative. I like spending time with others but I need my time alone. I am insecure, restless and unsettled. I love music, poetry and exercise. I have trouble understanding money and I have problems sleeping at night if I have watched or heard of animal cruelty or of the scary effects of global warming. I am complicated and complex, but I can find joy in simple things.

I welcome PSD lessons where we have to discuss such questions or write about them in our files. It is easy for me to get lost in the details of such exercises. But I am unable and unwilling to share these with my peers. I am afraid I will come across as different to them, old-fashioned, or uncool. Our PSD teacher seems to be reading my mind, because I snap out of my daydream when I hear her words, “There is no right or wrong way to be. Everyone is unique, special and impossible to replace.”

She encourages us to live as we have defined ourselves on paper and in our minds, because that is the way to be true to ourselves. Yet she also says we have to choose who to share ourselves and our lives with, because we will meet people in our lives who will mock us for the way we are, try to change us, or not even really see us. She ends by saying that every experience will add to answering the question, who am I? and this becomes more and more known and precious, as we grow.

Things to Think About: